Kir.org Kids Radio Network

Two prominent British experts say there is no real mystery about it. According to experienced husband-and-wife team Dr Mike Smith and Iona Smith, in their new book How To Save A Child’s Life, “the key to it all is communication.” The trick is to enter the world of your child so that you can tailor the information to their needs. And the smiths’ special program is geared to the child’s growth, so that as they experience new pressures and circumstances, you’ll be ready with sensible and reliable advice at every stage. Dr Mike Smith is a specialist in preventative medicine for Britain’s National Heath Service and is a regular contributor to radio programs.

He’s also chief medical officer of the Family Planning Association. His wife Iona qualified as a nurse, and later worked in family planning, visiting and advising families and gaining first-hand experience of the everyday problems families face. She is also a mother of three. Stressing the importance of communication, they say parents can never communicate too much with their children, adding the vital proviso, “providing that it is done at a level which they can understand.”

“Even before your children can speak, they receive messages from you and learn from you. And when they begin to respond, communication becomes even more important,” say the Smiths. Early on, the dependent child needs to get parental messages such as; “I care”, “I’m interested”, “I’m listening”, “I love you and want you to tell me what’s worrying you.” But all too often the young child simply gets “Not now”, “I haven’t the time”, or “Your just being silly”. Then say the smiths, not only will the child find it hard to tell you what they are thinking as they get older, but they may also never trust the things you say. And as this lack of communication grows over the years, parents and their children are not able to act as a team when it comes to safety throughout the childhood years. To prepare for this vital teamwork, parents must learn to accept early on that their children grow up faster then ever these days.

Don’t kid yourself that an 11-year-old is too young to think of glue-sniffing or that a 14-year-old is not interested in sex. “Be aware of the lives your children are really living, not the ones you think they are living,” the Smiths say. And when you are putting a message across, don’t always be negative, telling them only what not to do. They cite the case of the father of already timid children who was always shouting at them: “Don’t climb that ladder or you’ll fall and break your back”, or “Don’t get near that fire or you’ll burn yourself.” “He should have been telling them the safe way to do these things and the true extent of the danger instead of scaring the wits out of them,” is the smiths’ advice.