Try to be more positive, so that next time as well as saying “Don’t put that felt tip pen in your mouth”, make sure that you congratulate them on drawing a pretty picture and tidying up. “This means your warning message about the pen will stand out as important, but you wont sound like a constant nag,” say the Smiths’. “And there will be another important message there, too – that you can all have a good
time together.”

For each group: 0-2, 2-4, 4-10 and 10-14, Mike and Iona have sensible advise that you as a parent will come to rely on. They list all the dangers that a child is likely to face in each age group, and then explain how best to get the warning message across. Examples of those dangers include: 0-2 Years! Cot deaths, childhood diseases, accidents in the home, suffocation, burning and scalding, choking and poisoning.

2-5 Years! Stairs, in the garden (poisonous flowers and berries, dangerous substances in the shed, etc.), burns, windows, dangerous toys and games, playground accidents, swimming pools, on the road, getting lost, bullying, sexual abuse.

5-10 Years! Spare time and when they’re at a loose end, other children (children learn so many bad things for other children), crossing roads, bikes (and rollerblades, skateboards, etc), trespassing, water, smoking, soft porn, public lavatories (a boy’s mum cant go to the toilet with her son, but she should always be close at hand; and vise versa when dad’s out with daughter).

10-14 Years! Many of the previous dangers, plus staying out late, running away, alcohol abuse, solvent abuse, drugs. One very helpful section of the book deals with all the things a child really ought to know from birth to 10 years. Parents of school-age or older children who, after reading Mike and Iona’s book, feel guilty because they never tackled the problem right at the start of their child’s life, must not worry. “It’s never too late to work at truly communicating with your child and making his or her world as secure as possible,” they say. They also talk about the book’s title, how to save a child’s life.

“There IS so much you can do to protect your children and teach them about today’s world and today’s dangers.” Say the Smiths. Following their advise, you can give your children the best armor they can possibly have – knowledge. This way they will be protected, whether you are there or not.

He’s also chief medical officer of the Family Planning Association. His wife Iona qualified as a nurse, and later worked in family planning, visiting and advising families and gaining first-hand experience of the everyday problems families face. She is also a mother of three. Stressing the importance of communication, they say parents can never communicate too much with their children, adding the vital proviso, “providing that it is done at a level which they can understand.”

“Even before your children can speak, they receive messages from you and learn from you. And when they begin to respond, communication becomes even more important,” say the Smiths. Early on, the dependent child needs to get parental messages such as; “I care”, “I’m interested”, “I’m listening”, “I love you and want you to tell me what’s worrying you.” But all too often the young child simply gets “Not now”, “I haven’t the time”, or “Your just being silly”. Then say the smiths, not only will the child find it hard to tell you what they are thinking as they get older, but they may also never trust the things you say. And as this lack of communication grows over the years, parents and their children are not able to act as a team when it comes to safety throughout the childhood years. To prepare for this vital teamwork, parents must learn to accept early on that their children grow up faster then ever these days.

Don’t kid yourself that an 11-year-old is too young to think of glue-sniffing or that a 14-year-old is not interested in sex. “Be aware of the lives your children are really living, not the ones you think they are living,” the Smiths say. And when you are putting a message across, don’t always be negative, telling them only what not to do. They cite the case of the father of already timid children who was always shouting at them: “Don’t climb that ladder or you’ll fall and break your back”, or “Don’t get near that fire or you’ll burn yourself.” “He should have been telling them the safe way to do these things and the true extent of the danger instead of scaring the wits out of them,” is the smiths’ advice.